加拿大政府和民间组织开展“16日反针对女性暴力运动”

自今天的国际消除针对女性暴力日（International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women）开始，加拿大政府和民间组织开展 “16日反针对女性暴力运动”（The 16 Days of Activism against Gender Violence）。

运动将于12月10日的国际人权日结束，在16日中，12月6日是加拿大的“纪念和消除针对女性暴力行动日” （National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women）。

联邦政府妇女地位部提供了各种资料，让公众了解针对女性暴力的形式、公众可以如何回应、女性可以获得什么样的帮助、父母应该如何教育孩子尊重女性等。

Forms of Violence and Abuse（虐待的形式）

Violence against women and girls is not limited to physical abuse. It includes abusive words, actions and criminal acts that seek to degrade, humiliate or harm a woman or girl. Often, the term violence is used to refer to specific, usually physical, acts, while the word abuse is used to refer to a pattern of behaviour that a person uses to gain or maintain power and control over another. In this web site, these words are often used interchangeably, or the broader term of abuse is used.

Physical Abuse（生理虐待）

Physical abuse, including assault, is the intentional use of force against a person without that person's consent. It can cause physical pain or injury that may last a long time. Physical abuse includes:

pushing or shoving

hitting, slapping or kicking

pinching or punching

strangling or choking

stabbing or cutting

shooting

throwing objects at someone

burning

holding someone down for someone else to assault

locking someone in a room or tying them down, or

killing someone

All of these acts are crimes in Canada.

Sexual Abuse (Adults) （性虐待，成年人）

Sexual abuse of an adult can include:

sexual touching or sexual activity without consent

continued sexual contact when asked to stop, or

forcing someone to commit unsafe or humiliating sexual acts.

All sexual contact with anyone without consent is a crime called sexual assault. Sexual assault includes sexual touching or forcing sexual activity on a spouse, a common law partner or a dating partner. Even within marriage, one spouse cannot force the other to have sexual contact.

Sexual Abuse (Children)（性虐待，孩童）

There are also special laws to protect children from sexual abuse and from sexual activities that exploit them. Child sexual abuse happens when a person takes advantage of a child for sexual purposes. It does not always involve physical contact with a child.

For example, it could happen when an adult makes sexual comments to a child, or secretly watches or films a child for sexual purposes. Sexual abuse of a child includes:

any sexual contact between an adult and a child under 16 years of age

any sexual contact with a child between the age of 16 and 18 without consent, or

any sexual contact that exploits a child under 18.

Any sexual contact between an adult and a child under 16 is a crime. In Canada, the age of consent for sexual activity is 16, but there are some exceptions if the other person is close in age to the child.

In addition, children under 18 cannot legally give their consent to sexual activity that exploits them. Sexual activities that exploit a child include prostitution and pornography. They also include situations where someone in a position of authority or trust, or someone the child depends on, has any kind of sexual activity with the child. A person of authority or trust could be a parent, step-parent, grandparent, older sibling, teacher or coach.

Emotional or Psychological Abuse （情绪／心理虐待）

Emotional abuse happens when a person uses words or actions to control, frighten, isolate or take away another person's self-respect. Emotional abuse is sometimes called psychological abuse. It can include:

put downs, name calling or insults

constantly yelling at someone

keeping someone from seeing friends or family

making fun of someone's faith or religion, not letting a person practice it (spiritual abuse)

controlling what someone wears, where someone goes, who someone can see (in the case of adults)

preventing someone from going out, taking classes or working if the person wants to (in the case of adults)

threatening to have a person deported if the person doesn't behave in a certain way

making threats to harm another person

destroying a person's belongings, hurting a person's pets or threatening to do so, or

bullying: intimidating or humiliating someone (including on the Internet)

Some forms of emotional abuse are crimes: stalking, threats to harm someone, harassing someone on the phone, intimidating someone on purpose or counselling (advising) someone to commit suicide. Many other forms of emotional abuse are not crimes, but they often have long-term negative effects and might lead to criminal acts later on.

If a child is emotionally abused, child protection authorities could intervene and remove the child from his or her parents.

Financial Abuse （经济虐待）

Financial abuse happens when someone uses money or property to control or exploit another person. It can involve:

taking someone's money or property without permission

withholding someone's money so the person cannot pay for things

making someone sign documents to sell things the person doesn't want to sell

forcing someone to change her/his will, or

not letting someone have access to family money to meet the person's or the person's children's basic needs.

Most forms of financial abuse are crimes, including theft and fraud. Financial abuse can also include situations where one person intends to financially exploit another, as in cases of dowry fraud.

Criminal Harassment/Stalking（刑事骚扰／跟踪骚扰）

Criminal harassment, also known as stalking, is a crime. It involves repeated conduct that makes someone fear for their safety or the safety of someone they care about. It can include:

watching or following someone

making threats that cause someone to fear for their safety

making threats to someone's children, family, pets or friends that cause fear, or

repeatedly calling or sending gifts after being asked to stop.

Neglect（疏忽）

Spouses and common-law partners have a duty to care for each other. Adults have a duty to care for their dependent children as well as their dependent parents. Neglect happens when a family member, who has a duty to care for another, fails to provide for that person's basic needs. It can involve:

failing to provide proper food or warm clothing

failing to provide a safe and warm place to live

failing to provide adequate health care, medication and personal hygiene (if needed)

failing to prevent physical harm, or

failing to ensure proper supervision (if needed).

It may also include leaving someone alone for too long when that person is injured or unwell.

Some forms of neglect are crimes in Canada, including failure to provide the necessities of life and child abandonment. If a child is neglected, child protection authorities could intervene and remove the child from his or her parents.

Violence Committed in the Name of so-called "Honour" 以“荣誉”为名的暴力

Violence based on so-called "honour" happens when family members believe that the victim has behaved in ways that will bring shame or dishonour to the family. Violence, from the perpetrator's perspective, is used to protect family honour. The victim is usually, though not always, female. For example, the family might not approve of:

dating or talking to boys

having sexual relationships outside marriage

wearing what the parents believe is the wrong clothing, or

refusing a forced marriage.

The family members may believe that using violence will bring back the family's reputation. The types of violence the family uses can include:

beatings

forced confinement

threats

counselling (suggesting the person commit) suicide, and

killing.

These actions are crimes.

Forced Marriage（包办婚姻）

Forced marriage happens when one or both people do not consent to the marriage. Forced marriage is not the same as arranged marriage. In arranged marriages, both people consent to the marriage.

Family members sometimes use physical violence, abduction, forced confinement or emotional abuse to force the person into the marriage. Even if parents try to force their child to marry because they think it is good for the child, using threats or violence to do this is a crime.

For information on key indicators on the prevalence and severity of violence against women; the various risk factors and impacts of violence; and criminal justice and social responses, consult Measuring Violence Against Women: Statistics Trends.

Adapted from the Department of Justice publication entitled Abuse is Wrong (2009).

Know How to Safely Respond（如何安全地做出反应）

If you witness words or actions that are disrespectful, abusive or harmful to someone, or if you suspect someone is being abused, there are a variety of ways in which you can respond. However, it is important to remember that situations involving violent people can escalate and become unsafe, so you should exercise caution to avoid putting yourself in harm's way.

Call 911 or the police

If you feel that you or someone close to you is in immediate danger, call 911 or the police.

Report child abuse

If you have reason to believe a child is being abused, you are required by law to report it.  Call 911 or the police or child welfare services in your area.

Offer your assistance

If you see someone being harassed or abused, simply showing the person s/he is not alone may help. Asking "are you okay?" or "is there any way I can help?" can take the power away from the perpetrator. If you feel that such an intervention will put you at risk, you should call 911 or the police.

Walk away or refuse to join in

When someone treats another in a derogatory manner, you may walk away or refuse to join in. Ignoring or laughing at these kinds of comments not only implies you condone them, but may also encourage the perpetrators to continue. When you walk away from abusive behaviour, you show perpetrators that you don't agree and won't act as an audience.

Speak out

Tell others that you don't agree with derogatory, degrading, abusive and violent actions towards women and girls. Be direct about what you have seen. For example:

"I don't think that joke is funny." "That joke makes me uncomfortable."

"Leave her alone." "I don't like how you are treating her. Stop it."

"Your words/actions are uncalled for. What you are saying/doing is wrong."

"How would you feel if another person did this to your mother, grandmother, sister, wife or daughter?"

To find out about support services in your region, see Help in your area.

安省为针对女性暴力受害者服务的机构：链接

1. Consider what you would do if you witnessed a woman being threatened or assaulted.

If you see a woman being threatened or assaulted, you don't have to stand by and do nothing. Based on what you see, you may be able to defuse the situation by approaching the woman, perhaps along with others, and asking her if she is alright and whether she needs help. If you have concerns about your safety and that of the woman being harassed, you should call 911 and get the police involved.

2. Wherever there's drinking, always be thinking.

Taking advantage of a woman who's had too much to drink is wrong. It is a crime to have sexual contact with a person without her voluntary consent. If you see a woman in a vulnerable situation, offer to help her get home safe. Speak up if any friend, or stranger, tries to 'score' with a woman who's had too much to drink.

3. Suspect a friend is being abused? Talk to her about it.

If you have a female friend who you suspect is being physically or emotionally abused by her partner or an ex, ask her about it. She may feel helpless, but a friend breaking the silence may be just what she needs to start getting help.

4. Suspect a friend is being abusive? Talk to him about it.

If you have a male friend who you suspect is physically or emotionally abusing a woman, get him alone and calmly tell him you value his friendship but you're troubled by his behaviour. Let him know that non-consensual physical or sexual contact, even in a relationship, is a crime. This may support him to see that what he is doing is wrong. It doesn't have to mean the end of your friendship.

5. Don't like abusive and derogatory language about women? Speak up!

Abusive language about women in general, or talk that cruelly demeans a specific woman or women, often occurs in social situations or online. You can object to this behaviour in a non-confrontational way just by saying, or posting, "It's just wrong to talk about women that way. Stop it." Do the right thing. You may be surprised by how many of your friends agree with you and were just waiting for someone to speak up.

Prepare Your Kids(教育你的孩子)

As kids grow, their relationship circle grows too. It's never too early to start teaching kids about healthy relationships - between men and women, boys and girls, parents, relatives, friends, peers, teachers, etc. Here are a few pointers:

Be a good role model

Remember that parents set the tone for family relationships and that children learn by watching.

• Sharing in family responsibilities is an important way for fathers and mothers to demonstrate equal relationships between men and women.
• Examine how you approach conflict. Do you use violence to settle arguments? When you're angry, do you yell or use physical force? When parents resolve disagreements with one another and others in positive ways, they provide excellent role models for their children.

Be proactive

Work with your kids to teach them to respect others and to behave in a socially appropriate manner. Take advantage of "teachable" moments.

• Monitor interactions between siblings and between your kids and their friends. Teach your kids how to resolve conflict and express anger or frustration in an appropriate, non-violent way.
• Talk openly with your kids about the characteristics of healthy, equal relationships between men and women, boys and girls.
• As your kids approach the challenges of dating, talk about the kinds of relationships you want for them: "I want you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend who respects you."
• Initiate discussions with your kids by asking them questions: "What would your ideal relationship be like?" "What do you look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend?" "What comes to mind when you think of real love?" "What comes to mind when you think of abuse?"

Be aware of outside influences

Exposure to media violence can have a de-sensitizing effect on children. Similarly, exposure to negative attitudes and behaviours towards women and girls can make kids think abuse is normal and acceptable. It is important that you be aware of these influences and take steps to help your kids understand what is and is not acceptable.

• Parental advisories for music, movies, TV, video and computer games can help you choose age-appropriate programming.
• Participating in your child's entertainment media choices gives you an opportunity to talk about the things you experience together.
• Encourage your children to think critically about what they are witnessing.
• Actively question your kids when you witness demeaning stereotypes, degrading jokes and other messages that condone negative attitudes towards women and girls. Ask girls how those comments and actions make them feel. Ask boys how they'd feel if such actions and attitudes were directed towards them or towards their mothers, sisters or female friends.

Be open and accessible

Ensure your kids know they can talk openly and safely with you about relationship issues.

• When they approach you, take the time to listen and respond. Show them that you trust them, believe in them and respect them.
• Don't worry if you can't answer all of their questions right away. Take the time to find the right answers and continue the discussion.

Be age-appropriate

Teaching your children about healthy relationships requires a gentle, continuous flow of information that is appropriate to their stage of development. There are many resources available to help you talk to your kids about these issues.

Keep the conversation going

Talk about healthy relationships whenever the opportunity arises.

• Share stories and lessons learned from your parents or family members about healthy relationships.
• Talk about the lessons you learned from a mistake you made.
• The more talk about healthy relationships, the more comfortable your kids will be in talking.

Build confidence

No parents want to see their children hurt, abused or manipulated. And no parents want their children to hurt others. Teaching your kids about healthy relationships is one of the best ways to protect them when you are not there.

• Let them know they can talk to you about anything.
• Help them recognize when they are being mistreated.
• Teach them strategies to avoid mistreatment. For example, ask your son how he would respond if his friends encouraged him to be controlling and disrespectful to girls. Or ask your daughter what she would do if she were being pressured to engage in sexual activity.

Set boundaries

Help your kids understand their own boundaries and how to assert them. This is also an important step in understanding and respecting other people's boundaries.

• Help them understand the principle of consent: a voluntary, sober, wanted, informed, mutual, honest and active verbal agreement.
• Make sure they understand that words or conduct can express a lack of agreement and that consent cannot be coerced, is never implied and cannot be assumed, even in an intimate relationship.

Pay attention

When both you and your kids are able to recognize the signs of a destructive relationship, you can tackle the problem together.

• Be on the lookout for warning signs. If your teen is dating someone, get to know that person. Pay attention to the couple's interactions and watch for controlling behaviour, criticism and jealousy.

Ask your teen about the relationship and listen without judging. Let your teen know you are there to help.

1. Practice what you preach

It's a cliché, but it's true: actions speak louder than words. So above all, walk the walk. Always address women with respect. Whatever you demand of your son, show how important it is by demonstrating it yourself.

2. Don't put up with putting down women

Unfortunately, in some settings, such as sports, there's often a tradition of language and humour that can be degrading to women. If you hear a boy or young man who looks up to you engaging in it, tell him it's unacceptable and tell him why you won't tolerate it. If it happens among your peers, remind them that young men/boys look up to them.

3. Make sure he develops other kinds of respect

Respecting women is part of a greater respect for others. Ensure that he treats his teachers, classmates, friends, and his teammates and opponents, with the same respect he'd like to receive from them.

4. Find out who his heroes are and what they do

It's common for young men to idolize famous athletes, musicians or actors. However, when it comes to respecting women, the personal behaviour of some of these heroes can leave much to be desired. Encourage him to think for himself, and let him know that not everything about his hero is worthy of imitation. Help him to identify heroes that respect women – they are out there!

5. Make sure he learns that sexual assault is always wrong

If he seeks your advice about girls and dating, seize the opportunity to talk to him about healthy relationships. Make sure he understands that forcing a girl to do something sexual that she doesn't want to do is always wrong and is a crime. No matter what his friends say. Wrong. Always.

(资料来源：联邦政府妇女地位部)