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Life Time Friends
“Father, happy birthday to you!” said my daughter as she greeted me on my 97th birthday. Sitting down, she leafed through the many birthday cards sitting on the table.“ Are you reading Annemarie’s cards again?” I nodded my head slowly as I answered, “Yes.” I saw a look of curiosity come over my daughter’s face as her month formed the words,” How did you and Mom get to know her?” “It’s a long story, Nai. “It was more than 20 years ago, as you know, Nai, you sponsored your mom and I to come to Canada from Mainland China after we retired.
Remember that we told you we were educated in missionary schools back home? Our English was adequate for every day living and we felt confident that we would cope well in our new country. After a year of living with you in Toronto, we were fortunate enough to find a brand new senior’s apartment called Almise. It is located in the Don Valley parkway area and is in a well-known conservation area. If you walk in the Don Mills woods or happen to drive by on the Parkway, you can spot our apartment. Allow me to share with you my delight in this wonderful building. When the summer sunshine simmers over the grounds, highlighting the wonderful blooms and stately trees and peeks into our clean, shiny windows, it is like the whole world is smiling with us. In winter, the delicate white flakes drift by our window, slowly covering the waiting ground while we watch, warm and cozy, in our apartment, oh such joy. Autumn with its wondrous change of tree leaf colours brings us another kind of awe, nature’s handicraft for all to see and enjoy. Our building, with its red walls and green roof fits perfectly into the landscape. She reminds me of a lady all decked out in her finery. She seems to proudly tell the world that we here, feel happy and live in harmony, no matter what part of the world we originally come from. Let me tell you, Nai, about some of the residents here in the building. Many of them were early setter’s descendants or came here when they were small children. Most of them speak English as their first language.
Your mother, Nai, was a warm, outgoing and active person, as you know. We didn’t want to miss our first Canadian BBQ so we went. BBQ-What a different concept that was for us, we had never heard of it in China. We also had not had any opportunity to practice conversational English after 1949. This BBQ gathering made us feel inadequate due to the language barrier, and a feeling of isolation came over us so we decided to leave. Just as we were about to leave, we heard our names called. “ Florence, Benny, How are you?”
Turning we saw this elegantly clad woman, a broad smile on her face, walk towards us. Her glistening earrings and necklace caught my attention for a moment as she came close enough to us to chat. I cannot remember how I replied but I do remember how her smiles, words and friendliness made our world brighten. It was she who made us feel “ at home” and comfortable at BBQ. After that, each time we met in the building or elsewhere, the bond of friendship grew. We introduced you, children to her. Annemarie had a way of story telling which fascinated us. We would love to visit her in her apartment and hear about her collection of Chinese objects. Through these chats, we found out that she was a tailor and used to work in a factory with a lot of Chinese co-workers. In her stories to us, each worker would take on a life of her own and it was as if we got to know him or her too. Your mother and I became part of her stories as she told others about the gifts we had given her. One visit she told us that her first language was German and she was from Austria. Having being brought up by missionaries, I stood up and recited the entire Lord’s Prayer in German. I had learned it 80 years ago! I myself was shocked at my recollection and ability to recite it. “That is so beautiful! It is so amazing! I can’t believe my ears. You sounded like a native German!” Her compliment made me a little bit shy but really happy and encouraging!
Our friendship has deepened over the years as we age. We have many things to talk about, our past, our families, our hobbies, and the arts. Recently she told me how much she liked Shen Yun, the Chinese performing arts and how it inspires her and touches her by its spiritual them, beautiful colours and performances, costumes and music. For over twenty years, Nai, we have exchanged greeting cards, not only for Christmas and Easter but she also sends us cards on our birthdays and for Chinese New Year.
Exchanging Greeting Cards
Remember when your mom was so ill and Annemarie came to visit often? She used to give her kisses and she drew the sign of the cross on your mom’s forehead and prayed for the grace and blessing of god on your mom. She was so ill at that time that she could not speak and her eyes would fill with tears by the love that Annemarie showed her. In Annemarie’s eyes, there were answering tears. It has been nine years since your mom passed away, but Annemarie has never once forgotten my birthday. When she visits, she never fails to stand in front of your mom’s picture and make the sign of the cross and pray for God’s blessing and grace to be on her. Before leaving, she would hug and kiss me too.” I, as always, after her leaving, carefully took out a stack of cards, including the new one, read it one by one facing towards your mother’s picture, recalled each moment of our meeting, laughing and visiting…It is just like a movie episode, one after the other appearing from my memories. Along with the episodes were your mom’s clear, warm-hearted and sincere voice, echoing repeatedly in my ears, “ How are you, Annemarie? Where have you been? I haven’t seen you for a while, are you all right?” There was much more conversations between your Mom and Annemarie. But I could not always hear well, with my hearing problems. Sometimes your Mom repeated in a loud voice what they talked about.
"Stand(ing) in front of your Mother's Picture"
“Nai, with you beside me reading aloud the words from the cards, it is as if the words dance around your mom’s portrait and soar up to the heaven where she could share the celebration of my 97th birthday. She would love what Annemarie has said in her latest card. I will close with these words form Annemarie.
Jan. 17th, 2013, “ Dear Benny, All these and so many more come together to make you more than just an everyday friend. You're a lifetime friend. Happy Birthday! God bless you with good health, peace and strength! Love, Annemarie"
Benny Sung (right ) with his daughter Naiwang Sung and his Grandson Bruce Meng.
This story was narrated by Benny Sung and written by Naiwang Sung.
Naiwang Sung is the founder of Optimistic Me to We Cultural Organization (OMTWCO). This article is part of the book 'Our Lives in Canada' by OMTWCO.
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